god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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