see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I see more hoeing in ur future
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