I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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