Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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