just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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