Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm always down for nudity.
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