so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize