I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
