Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize