People in love make me want to vomit
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize