bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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