love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
