you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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