This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize