just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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