16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
