Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
