I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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