Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
