If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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