I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
