You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
NoShamevember. You game?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
