Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
