Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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