I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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