Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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