So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
