You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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