The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
