I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
