Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
