God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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