Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
