perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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