whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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