I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
