I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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