I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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