Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i need an iv and a liver transplant
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
