Life is so much better after having sex.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
