There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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