I love black thongs
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
