I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i think i have two assholes
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We are all done wearing pants today
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
