i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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