I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
