yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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