He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
