Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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