What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
