I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
