I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
