i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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