his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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