Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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