i just had sex bonerless
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
