Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
