From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
