My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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