six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
