I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
