sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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