I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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