first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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